Posted by: chiarraigrrl | September 13, 2011

Things I won’t miss: “Well for some…”

This afternoon when I was clocking out for my lunch at work (yes, we have to clock in and out, which I thought was some crazy factory-type industrial throwback when I started working at the current job, but supposedly is for our flexitime arrangements) I ran into a colleague who mentioned that they noticed I was off next week and enquired if I was going anywhere. Well, you asked…, I thought, so I replied casually that I was going to Boston for a few days. And I got that reaction that I absolutely cannot stand:

“ooh, well for some!”.

In that tone of voice like I thought too highly of myself or something. Unlike her, I don’t have any outstanding loans (she’s actually gone behind her husband’s back to moneylenders to borrow money for things), I don’t have any kids or a mortgage, and my hard-earned money is my own (after bills, of course). After her going on about the hundreds-to-thousands she spends on one daughter’s Irish dancing lessons, competitions and outfits, and their two weeks’ holidays in Spain, it really irritated me that she’d begrudge me my few days in Boston and act like I somehow didn’t deserve it or shouldn’t be able to afford to go on a holiday to Boston. The way she is, I know she wasn’t really thinking about it and may not have even meant it that way, it was just a default reaction – but when the common default reaction is begrudgery, that’s not really healthy.

This is a fairly regular occurrence around these parts, unfortunately- god forbid anyone actually be able to enjoy themselves without the piss being taken, snarky comments being passed or being made to feel bad about their extravagance in doing something so outlandish as, say, going to a few gigs or going on a regular, not-actually-hugely-exotic holiday. It even shows up when there’s no actual expenditure involved. Des Bishop tweeted the other night about people making snarky comments while their friends got photos taken with him, and ended up getting even more aggravation for making the simple observation. I’ve seen this sort of thing out and about – people might want to get their photo taken with their favourite band or what have you, and their friends often rib them mercilessly about it, which really puts a damper on what should have been a bit of fun.

I really noticed this more negative default attitude when I recently briefly considered taking up running. My friend Beth had posted on her blog with advice and encouragement for a friend doing her first 5k, and I thought how much fun it all sounded… in the States. Here, by contrast, a colleague (who’s also giving up the cigarettes, as of this week – more on that later) mentioned yesterday that she might take up running – and immediately, another colleague who’s a “friend” of hers was taking the piss, putting down the idea.

I’m not asking for people to be 100% enthusiastic and supportive all the time, and I’m certainly not saying that there’s no begrudgery or sniping anywhere else. But this constant cutting people down, this default begrudgery about everything that just seems so prevalent here especially recently (or maybe it’s just that I hadn’t noticed it as much before) – it’s not the attitude I want to deal with for the rest of my life, that’s for sure.

Can I go home now, plz? kthxbai.

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Responses

  1. Huh. I’d never heard that phrase before. Boo for begrudging! But at least you taught someone (namely: me) something new today! đŸ™‚

    • Yeah, I think it’s a peculiarly Irish thing- I’ve never heard of it being used anywhere else (though I’m not 100% sure they’d never have heard of it in Britain). I shouldn’t even feel like I have to justify myself over taking a holiday, but as evidenced above, apparently I do. Ah well. It’s not forever. Thanks for the silver lining, missus! đŸ™‚


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